graduate school application Archives

Storytelling Mistakes on Your Personal Statement (and how to avoid them!)

Cartoon of a young South Asian man, animatedly telling a story to a captivated, diverse audience in a modern conference room. He is dressed in a smart business suit, gesturing with his hands as he speaks. The audience, consisting of various ethnicities and genders, shows expressions of engagement—some are leaning forward, others are laughing, and a few are clapping. A projector screen displaying a presentation is visible in the background, adding to the lively atmosphere of the interaction. — Understanding how to tell your story is key to success!

In nearly 20 years of helping people get into their dream schools, I’ve made a point of working with clients to create essays that are both engaging and substantive. This balance is the key to a great essay for graduate or professional school. But, somewhere along the line, people got it in their heads that the only purpose of a personal statement was to let the reader get to know them. This is a mistake.

Over and over, I will read a personal statement for medical school or law school in which the author will tell a story that is highly personal to them, but in which they fail to link that story to their application’s core strengths and themes. When I try to explain that they need to focus on things germane to their application, they will tell me that they want to let the reader know who they are, as if this is a sufficient explanation for a medical school essay that focuses almost exclusively on their love of triathlons or a law school essay that does not ever use the word “law.”

Why does this happen? Essentially, it happens because people get so fixated on writing an *interesting* essay that makes the applicant sound *unique.* I hear these words –interesting and unique- all the time, and while they are important goals, and they will help an essay if used properly, they are a means to an end and not the end itself. The end, the purpose, and your primary motivation in a personal statement are simple: convince the reader that you are prepared and qualified for admission.

Given this, as you write your personal statement, you should keep in mind a simple and well-worn maxim that every salesman has heard a million times: Always Be Closing (ABC). In other words, at every point in the essay, you need to keep in mind whether or not what you are saying is moving the reader closer to believing that you have the requisite knowledge, experience, and understanding of the field you hope to enter.

For every story, for every paragraph, and for every sentence, you do need to ask yourself, “What does this say about the strength of my candidacy?” If the best that you can come up with that it says something interesting or unique about you, it doesn’t pass the ABC test. On the other hand, if it shows that you have an important and germane skill or perspective, then it passes the ABC test.

Now, what I am NOT saying is to be boring or rote, or to provide a straightforward rendering of your CV in essay form. If there is some aspect of your personality that is meaningful to you, then take the extra time to think about how it aligns with your application. For instance, if you’re a triathlete applying to medical school, can you create an overarching frame or metaphor and use the three phases of a triathlon to discuss the three pillars of your preparation for medical school? Or perhaps you’ve learned things from preparation and training that are germane? Did the discipline you found in the pool, track, and open road give you a framework for thinking about challenges? In other words, a great story is wonderful… so long as you connect it to what you’re doing and who you aspire to become.

The story is your way in, but it’s not the sale. Make them interested, then make the sale. Always be closing.

For more tips on how to build a story that moves the reader AND improves your application, check out these two videos we did:

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For more help with your personal statement, check us out at Gurufi.com. Our personal statement editors and consultants have decades of experience helping clients get into top Masters and Ph.D. programs in STEM, humanities, fine arts, and social sciences. Our specialty is helping you craft compelling personal statements that move the needle in your admissions process! For questions, shoot us an email at service@gurufi.com. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

A Non-Minority Student’s Guide to Diversity Essays

An animated image featuring a diverse group of medical school students in a classroom setting. The students, representing various ethnicities, genders, and backgrounds, are all wearing white lab coats and have stethoscopes around their necks. Some are engaged in conversation, holding medical textbooks, or examining medical charts. The classroom is equipped with essential medical tools, adorned with anatomy posters, and includes a skeleton model in one corner. Their expressions convey happiness and a shared enthusiasm for learning, illustrating an inclusive and collaborative educational environment — Embracing Diversity in Medical Education: Future healthcare professionals learning together in an inclusive environment

As a non-minority student, it’s important to approach the writing of a diversity essay with sensitivity and an open mind. Here are five tips to help you write an effective diversity essay:

Think of “diversity” expansively. When most people think of diversity in the context of admissions, they focus on racial, ethnic, national, gender, and sexual identity. But you should also think about experiential diversity. How has your life been different? Think about the kinds of people you’ve encountered, what they taught you, and how you grew. Reflect on the places you’ve lived, unique trials you’ve faced, jobs you’ve held, training you’ve received, or unusual insights you’ve gained. Then, take the additional step of asking yourself how these things would help you make School X a more dynamic, challenging, accepting, and comprehensive educational and life experience for your peers.

Acknowledge privilege: It is important to acknowledge any privilege you may have as a result of your race, ethnicity, gender, or socio-economic background. Reflect on how your experiences may have been shaped by these factors, and how they have impacted your understanding of diversity and inclusion. A frame that can be helpful is to complete this sentence, and then expand on it in a brainstorming writing session: “my privilege has allowed me to ______, and as a result, I feel compelled to _______ in order to _____.” For instance, “My privilege as an upper-middle class man raised in a healthy home has allowed me to have access to mentoring, networks, and advice that many of my peers never had, and as a result, I feel compelled to mentor others, build robust inclusive networks, and look for talent in unexpected places.” This sort of opening could provide the foundation for an insightful, frank self-assessment that gives the reader genuine insight into your values.”

Show empathy: Demonstrate your ability to understand and respect different perspectives and experiences by expressing empathy and a desire to learn from others. Describe how you plan to continue to learn about and engage with diverse communities in the future.

Highlight your commitment to diversity: Emphasize your commitment to promoting diversity and inclusion in your academic and professional pursuits. Explain how you plan to use your experiences and understanding of these issues to contribute to the graduate school community. Identifying and listing your values is good, but providing stories and examples is much better.

Seek feedback: Before submitting your diversity essay, consider seeking feedback from someone who has experience with these types of essays. This could be a mentor, a teacher, or someone else who has a good understanding of the graduate school application process. Their feedback can help you refine your essay and ensure that it effectively communicates your commitment to diversity.

Importantly, our editors and consultants at Gurufi have extensive experience helping people write diversity essays.

Lastly, we recognize that this form of essay can feel unusual or uncomfortable, especially for non-American applicants who aren’t conversant with the world of DEI, why universities value diversity, or even what this idea means. After all, many applicants come from places that are largely mono-racial.

So, while there can be a learning curve, your mindset should ultimately be that the diversity essay is an opportunity to demonstrate your understanding and commitment to promoting diversity and inclusion, whether or not you are a minority. By reflecting on their experiences, acknowledging privilege, showing empathy, highlighting their commitment, and seeking feedback, non-minority students can write effective diversity essays that showcase their ability to contribute to diverse and inclusive academic communities.

For more help with your personal statement, check us out at Gurufi.com. Our personal statement editors and consultants have decades of experience helping clients get into top MBA programs. Our specialty is helping you craft compelling personal statements that move the needle in your admissions process! For questions, shoot us an email at service@gurufi.com. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.