medical school essay examples Archives

Three Tips for Scholarship Essays

A stressed graduate student sits at a cluttered desk with papers, scholarship applications, and a laptop. The student is holding a pen and jotting notes on a notecard, with symbols of leadership, community involvement, and achievements in the background, including a trophy, a community service medal, and a graduation cap. A thought bubble shows images of dollar signs and a graduation gown. — Getting a scholarship is often as stressful as getting in.

At Gurufi, we know that getting in is often only half the battle! Paying for it can be just as -if not more- stressful as applying. With the average cost of graduate school starting at nearly $50,000, getting a scholarship is an important way to defray costs and save a little money, as well as bolster your resume for the future. Writing an impressive scholarship statement is essential to your success, and keeping these tips in mind will put you on the right path.

Identify the key themes appropriately and use language that reinforces those themes. This can’t be stressed enough. Read the statement and make sure you understand exactly what they’re asking for. Most scholarship applications will explain precisely what kind of person they feel meets their qualifications, and all you have to do is interpret that correctly. While it will vary from essay question to essay question, you’ll typically see key themes related to leadership, community involvement, or milestones/successes in life. So that you don’t miss them, it’s a great idea to write these key themes on a notecard and brainstorm each one. Identify stories, successes, or key pivotal moments in your life or professional / academic journey that demonstrate these themes or attributes. Repeat the theme in your thesis statement and use it as the backbone for your whole essay.

Know your audience and cater to them. You’re not writing an essay that has to appeal to thousands of people. This is a targeted piece of writing designed to evoke a positive response from at most, a large committee, and at least, one or two individuals. This audience has a specific goal, and that goal is to find an applicant or applicants who they feel, in their completely subjective opinion, accurately and appropriately represent the organization, charity, company, group, estate, individual or other entity who will be providing the scholarship. Cater your language, your words, your stories, and your approach directly to this narrow audience. As long as you’re able to do this without pandering, your words will resonate with the committee in a positive way, and that can only help.

Make it personal. Your ultimate goal with a scholarship essay is to ask a committee of people to see you as something more than words on a page. You want them to see you as a person – a student, striving for success and overcoming burdens one at a time as you work hard and tire thanklessly to achieve your dreams. As you give examples in ways you’ve demonstrated leadership, or helped your community, or achieved certain goals in life, be specific. Show how these events impacted you emotionally and personally, and don’t be afraid to let your passion show through.

These three tips will provide you with some guidance as you tackle your scholarship essays. Remember, too, that sincerity and enthusiasm go a lot further than flattery and exaggeration, so be honest and transparent as you write. These committees don’t expect someone perfect – they want to find someone who they’ll be proud to call a scholarship recipient as you grow and succeed in life. Show them that you’re someone worth investing in.

For more help with your personal statement, check us out at Gurufi.com. Our personal statement editors and consultants have decades of experience helping clients get into top Masters and Ph.D. programs in STEM, humanities, fine arts, and social sciences. Our specialty is helping you craft compelling personal statements that move the needle in your admissions process! For questions, shoot us an email at service@gurufi.com. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Ten Tips for Your “Why Medicine?” AMCAS Personal Statement

Cartoon of a young Asian female medical school applicant seated at a desk, pondering her AMCAS personal statement. Above her, thought bubbles depict her various experiences: conducting research in a lab, assisting in a clinical environment, and experiencing personal growth while reading under a tree. The scene conveys her contemplation on how these experiences answer the 'why medicine?' question for her application — How do you write the most important essay of your life?

As spring is upon us, a new crop of aspiring doctors begins their medical school application process! At the heart of your application is your AMCAS Personal Statement, which asks you a simple question: why medicine? During our 15 years of helping hundreds of medical school applicants earn admission to their dream schools, we have worked with clients to help them craft unique responses to this question that resonate with their experiences and come across as genuine, compelling, and personal. Here are some tips for you on how you should think about -and respond to- this question.

Start with your personal story: The best way to make your response original is to use moments, challenges, successes, and failures from your life. Your personal story is a unique and powerful tool for communicating why you are drawn to medicine. This can include experiences you’ve had with healthcare providers, exposure to medical challenges faced by loved ones or your community, or a moment when you first realized your passion for medicine.
Highlight your experiences: Discuss any relevant experiences you’ve had in the medical field, such as volunteering at a hospital, shadowing a healthcare provider, or participating in a healthcare-related research project. Discuss what you learned from these experiences and how they have shaped your perspective on medicine.
To avoid your essay being a cliché, strive from depth in your personal statement, not breadth. What this means is getting very specific about a particular experience -an EXACT moment or conversation- and how it shaped you. An exercise that I like to do with clients is to say, “if you have to take me to a precise moment in a time machine, where would you set the dial?” This forces you to have a specific entry point to a story that would help me understand it so that you might say, “on my third day at the clinic, I met Fred, whose leg infection had gone septic…” instead of saying, “my time volunteering at Detroit Mercy opened my eyes.” Specificity is the difference between a well-told story and a boring one.

Emphasize your understanding of the field: Show that you have a deep understanding of the field of medicine and the challenges that healthcare providers face. This can include discussing current issues in the healthcare system, such as access to care, the opioid epidemic, or the impact of social determinants of health. BUT, only do this if you in fact have the insight and experience to do so. Faking it will be easily detected, if not by the reader then certainly by a future interviewer who asks you about it!

Express your passion: Share your passion for medicine and what motivates you to pursue a career in this field. Explain why you believe that medicine is more than just a job, but a calling to help others and make a difference in the world. If there is a single idea that you want to convey, it is positive excitement. People are attracted to optimism and energy, so find a way to convey that.

Demonstrate your commitment: Show that you are committed to the field of medicine and that you understand the sacrifices and dedication required to succeed. Discuss your long-term goals and how they align with your passion for medicine. For every goal you seek to identify, first ask yourself, “what experiences have I had that prepared for pursuing this goal?” and “what about my past explains this goal?” and “what about my past justifies my belief that I can attain this goal?” Answering these three questions will help your aspirations come across as more believable and, importantly, allow you to SHOW your commitment to medicine by reference to things you’ve done.

Be specific: Instead of simply stating that you want to become a doctor, be specific about why you are interested in a particular specialty or aspect of medicine. Discuss what attracts you to this area of medicine and what you hope to achieve in this field.

Be honest: Be honest about your motivations for pursuing a career in medicine. Don’t try to sound like someone you’re not or exaggerate your experiences or achievements. Admissions committees can usually tell when someone is being insincere. This goes beyond lying, of course. Essays that are built purely around the idea of “tell the reader what they want to hear” usually feel hollow and insincere and, perhaps worst of all, come across as cliché.

Edit and revise: Make sure your response is well-written, free of typos and grammatical errors, and that it clearly communicates your passion for medicine. Ask someone you trust to review your response and provide feedback.

Address any weaknesses: If there are any red flags in your application, such as a low GPA or MCAT score, take the opportunity in your response to the “why medicine?” question to address these weaknesses and explain how you have overcome them. Remember, you can’t just avoid talking about bad moments and hope that the AdCom somehow misses it. They won’t. Thus, if it comes up in the meeting about your application, you’ll want to be sure that you frame it.
Here is a video that I did to help MBA applicants, and though the examples I use are business-related, the core ideas are the same. Or, if you want the “TLDR” version without the specifics, check this out!

Be yourself: Finally, be yourself in your response. Admissions committees are looking for applicants who are passionate, knowledgeable, and well-suited to the field of medicine. Your unique perspective and experiences are what make you a strong candidate, so be sure to let your personality shine through in your response.

All told, the “why medicine?” question is an opportunity to demonstrate your passion for the field, your understanding of the challenges and rewards of a career in medicine, and your commitment to pursuing a career in this field. By following these tips, you can craft a compelling response that will help you stand out in the medical school application process.

For more help with your personal statement, check us out at Gurufi.com. Our personal statement editors and consultants have decades of experience helping clients get into top medical schools. Our specialty is helping you craft compelling personal statements, Work & Activities sections, secondaries, and residency letters that move the needle in your admissions process! For questions, shoot us an email at service@gurufi.com. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Five Topics to Avoid in Your Medical School Personal Statement

Two cartoon medical school applicants in white coats cross a rickety wooden bridge over a river of lava, where playful monsters representing topics like alcohol use, religion, and politics emerge. The applicants hold their application papers and look anxiously towards a stylized medical school building in the distance. The scene is light-hearted and colorful, set in a fantastical landscape. — Steering Clear of Pitfalls: These Medical School Applicants Navigate the Perilous Path to Admission, Humorously Avoiding Topics Like Politics and Alcohol Use

We’re deep into April, and as medical school applicants begin thinking about their personal statements in earnest, we at Gurufi are putting the final touches on our medical school application video series. Every year, we help scores of applicants earn admission into top medical schools and residency programs.

In a recent post, I talked about the worst topic to use as your medical school personal statement introduction. Though I think that some topics are more complicated and fraught than others, I don’t usually give clients hard “no-go” topics. Rather, it’s about thinking about framing, context, and delivery. Another way to think about it is that these aren’t “banned” topics, per se; they’re just topics that have higher degrees of difficulty. Here are some topics to think twice about as you approach your personal statement.

Religion and politics. Don’t ever proselytize or make assumptions about what the reader’s politics are. Faith can be a vital part of many applicants’ lives, but to the extent that you bring it up, do it in a way that isn’t gratuitous, and make sure that you embrace a spirit of inclusivity. Similarly, it’s becoming increasingly common for people with backgrounds in politics, policy, or advocacy to transition into medical careers. As you talk about your political engagements, focus on what you hope to accomplish and avoid denigrating other political positions.

I have noticed that applicants with policy and politics backgrounds are becoming increasingly common in medical school applications, and they’re having a lot of success in their applications! Indeed, having helped many people write personal statements that emphasize the intersection of policy and medicine, I would note that the best essays focus on issues and policy, and don’t make sweeping statements about partisanship. What’s the difference? Well, advocating for, for example, better public health initiatives, protection of abortion rights, or better recognition of LGBTQ issues within healthcare spaces are all instances of health policy advocacy, whereas saying something like, “the Trump administration…” is a focus on partisanship.

Personal tragedy. Again, this is a topic that can be an important and effective part of a personal statement, if done properly. If done poorly, it can weigh the essay down in negativity. As a general rule, I urge clients to eventually bring their stories around to a forward-looking and optimistic vision. Tragedies either inspire you to become better, urged you to fight for a solution, or somehow teach you vital insights that will make you a better doctor. What you do NOT want is to include a sad story because you’re seeking emotionality for its own sake. Remember your purpose: to convince the reader that you’re a prepared, interesting, qualified, and mature candidate. Overcoming hardship can show that; a sad-sack story about life grinding you down that doesn’t end on an optimistic note will not.

Your personal setbacks. Everybody makes mistakes, and if the AdCom will know about your setback, you HAVE to talk about it. I’ve made several videos about how to do this. Heck, I even did a full-length detailed course for MBA applicants on how to do this (the same basic rules apply). So what are the basic rules?

 Be clear about what your setback was. Don’t be vague or use euphemism.

 Own it. Accept responsibility and state directly that you fell short of your standards.

 Explain what you learned AND how you’ve improved since.

 If you can point to subsequent examples of success, do so.

 Move on. Take an optimistic tone about the future and embrace the fact that you’ve learned and grown since.

Talking about your use of drugs or alcohol in a personal statement for medical school is typically not a smart idea. Discussions about past substance misuse may not be consistent with the admissions committee’s expectation of candidates who are responsible and dedicated to upholding a professional image. If, though, you have a conviction for some alcohol-related crime, you MUST address it at some point, so use the guidelines laid out above for how to address missteps thoughtfully.
In general, it’s not a good idea to mention that you want to become a doctor only for the money or the status. Admissions committees are searching for applicants who are passionate about medicine and truly want to assist others.

For more help with your personal statement, check us out at Gurufi.com. Our personal statement editors and consultants have decades of experience helping clients get into top medical schools. Our specialty is helping you craft compelling personal statements that move the needle in your admissions process! For questions, shoot us an email at service@gurufi.com. Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.

Here are some additional resources for this topic:

“Medical School Personal Statement Dos and Don’ts.” Kaplan Test Prep, Kaplan, Inc., www.kaptest.com/medical/medical-school/medical-school-personal-statement-dos-and-donts.
“5 Things to Avoid in Your Personal Statement.” Association of American Medical Colleges, www.aamc.org/students/applying/amcas/personalstatement/5things.
“5 Things to Avoid in Your Personal Statement.” Association of American Medical Colleges, www.aamc.org/students/applying/amcas/personalstatement/5things.
“Medical School Personal Statement Dos and Don’ts.” Kaplan Test Prep, Kaplan, Inc., www.kaptest.com/medical/medical-school/medical-school-personal-statement-dos-and-donts.
“5 Things to Avoid in Your Personal Statement.” Association of American Medical Colleges, www.aamc.org/students/applying/amcas/personalstatement/5things.

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